My 9-year-old son had been struggling with making friends,
completing his school work, and getting angry at every small thing. He was arguing with us constantly. Shelley, my wife, and I kept thinking, “It’s
fine, it is just a phase he is going through. He will grow out of it.” But when he started throwing things and
getting into fights at school, we knew we needed to find some solutions.
We started by getting a referral to a pediatrician who
focuses on special needs and having regular conversations with his resource
teacher at school. Through that, we got
a diagnosis of ADHD-Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Shelley and I were so relieved. We couldn’t understand why he was always
angry. We thought we were doing a good
job raising him, but he was starting to become the boy all the neighbors talk
about. However, with this diagnosis, we
could proceed with solutions.
We started with Mental Health Canada (1) and read that
recent studies have been focusing on the link between ADHD and frontal lobe
development. I already knew based on Dr.
Thomas E. Brown’s research (2) that ADHD impairs executive functioning skills
which comes from the frontal lobe. This
means he is going to struggle with organizing himself, regulating his emotions
and actions, sustaining focus and effort, recalling information, or dealing
with change. We also read further that
the best type of treatment is the combined form of behavioural treatment and
medication. This made a lot of sense to
me. I have certainly seen when students with ADHD have routines and strategies
combined with the proper medication, sleep and a good diet, they do all right.
The first thing we did was focus on behaviour. We asked his resource teacher at school to
start documenting every time he lost his temper and record when, where and what
happened leading up to it. We also kept
a journal at home documenting the same thing.
We quickly discovered after a couple weeks of doing this, there were
really only three things that were causing the difficulties. We found out it happened more as the day went
along, when he was touched, and in louder, less controlled environments. So the occupational therapist got involved
and figured out what he needed. We
started with a Hokki stool and weighted blanket for home and a rubber cushion
and squeeze toys for school from fdmt.ca.
He also lines up last to go outside or to come back to the class to
avoid being touched or bumped. He also
has the option of a timed 5-minute break throughout the day when he needs quiet. Finally, his school team and we talk once a
month to see how things are going for him.
At the same time, we started putting in strategies at
home. As soon as he comes home from
school, he isolates himself for an hour doing something active like biking or skateboarding
in the lane, jumping on the trampoline or hanging out with his best friend from
across the road. We then have a set
routine of supper, chores, homework, quiet time and bed time. We are very conscious of his diet and
hydration, but the biggest factor is sleep.
He gets 11 hours of sleep on weekdays and anything less than that
creates struggles for him. He also takes
3mg of melatonin every night 30 minutes before bedtime.
Finally, with his pediatrician, we started experimenting
with medication. We knew it is only by
trial and error that you find the right type of medication and dosage. Because our son is also diagnosed with FASD,
his body chemistry is unique, and it has been an ongoing process to find the
right medication. He is currently taking
20mg of biphentin, but we know every child is different when it comes to ADHD
medication. The two big things we have learned
is one, be consistent in administering it.
He needs it every single day.
Second, just like sleep and routines, medication helps him manage it,
not cure it.
Since putting these supports in place, my son has
experienced a huge change. He loves
school, has several good friends, laughing all the time, and just having fun
with life. His teachers have seen that
same change and are talking now about how much they enjoy having him in
class. While we know he may be dealing
with this his whole life, we also know where the solutions lie now. And that gives all of us hope.
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